I once helped out my a female friend's family by taking care of their cat for a week. Every day for a week, I would go over there and snoop around their house.I found my friend's diary, and proceeded to read the entire thing. I used this information to get her to like me, and she is currently my wife.ThrownAway2389
I once took a s**t In the bathtub and then realising what a horrible mistake I'd made, I flung poo Into a hole In the wall.My parents renovated and patched up the hole. So now there Is a ~15 year old turd in between the bathroom and kitchen wall of my childhood home.Not even using a throwaway because I have no shame.
Well, it's more of a secret to my friends that I've made recently. Some background first: I don't like being touched or hugged, and I'm incredibly uncomfortable with intimacy in general.When I was in the 8th grade, a bunch of girls in my class convinced me they had a friend who fancied me (they said she had seen me somewhere and thought I was cute). Faked a MSN account and they talked to me every night for a few months, invited me out to the movies and (obviously) didn't show up, then revealed to the whole grade that I had been tricked into having an 'imaginary' girlfriend.I was mocked viciously by everyone in the grade and ever since then I can't really trust women. I also can't believe that a girl may have feelings for me. Even when they explicitly tell me they have feelings for me I can't help but feel like they're trying to trick me. It's caused a lot of insecurity, and I can't get 'attached' to people easily. I'm terribly afraid to text, or message people first because I'm convinced I would be annoying them. What's worse is that when I think about it, I know it probably isn't true; but I can't help but feel like it is.Even though it was grade 8, it was around the time when attraction to women was just starting to get 'real', so to be hurt at a time as delicate as that has really done some damage.The secret of course is that I had been dumb enough to be tricked. As you might suspect, the whole thing has left me afraid of being vulnerable. To have this found out by my newer friends (as in, university friends) would put me in a really uncomfortable place. I probably wouldn't be able to be their friend anymore.Thanks for reading, you're the first people I've told about what this event has actually done to me.Throwdisoffabridge
I speak two languages so every time I received a new essay I would browse the topic in my own language and translate the text word-by-word to English then submitted it.No one ever caught me for plagiarism before.PassmethePepper
Cousin died when we were both seventeen. There was a reception at his house just after the funeral. I went into his room and stole all the money that was there, took some other valuables that his parents wouldn't realize were gone.No one knows that I did it, they just assumed he didn't have any money in his room, only loose change. I don't regret it, but I will never admit I did it.
I run a cake business. I charge people hundreds for wedding cakes... Every last one is made using Pilsbury cake mix I buy for $1 a box at Walmart. I suck at baking. Every time I've ever tried to make a cake from scratch it sucked. But baking is like.. My whole deal. My friends all call me the cake girl. It's like my whole life is a lie. People compliment my cakes all the time. Telling me how delicious they are. Telling me it's so much better than box mix cake. Telling me they could never bake a cake so delicious. Well guess what?For $1, they too can make a cake just as delicious. Just add oil, eggs and water. In my defense, I love cake decorating. I make all of the frostings and fondant from scratch. I just hate baking f**king cakes!! I base my prices mostly on the decoration of the cakes and not of the cake itself of that makes sense. Still... No one knows about this except my husband. Even my best friends think I f**king slave over the oven mixing and baking these damn cakes. I have been doing this for YEARS. If anyone knew my business and reputation would be in the toilet for sure. :/ I keep telling myself I have to learn how to make the damn cakes without the box mixes, but I never do it. I feel like such a sham sometimes.iGotYouThisCake
Two and a half years ago I was in dire financial straights, so I sold my home to keep my struggling business afloat. I neglected to tell the owners that they have an 800 sq. ft. bunker on the property that I built about seven years ago. The bunker that I've called home since I sold it. The entrance to it is well-hidden, but I still come and go very early/very late in the day.I'm a single man who keeps to himself. I'm now in a situation where I could move somewhere else, but I love this hidden paradise so much.throwaway215091
This is my old account, so might as well throw it away.While on deployment, I killed a man in a coup de grace. The feelings of taking a man's life always weigh a heavy burden on me every day. No one like's hurting people. He had been hit by some of our mobile artillery. While part of me wanted the bastard to be in pain, it wasn't right.My medic was busy with my wounded, and as the officer on duty I took out my .45 and put one in his head. I knew my boys wouldn't say anything. Most just watched, accepted it as a fact of war, and kept walking.I remember throwing up afterwards. I came home and everyone acted like I was a hero. I never felt like more of a sham my entire life.
First time telling anyone this. This thread is so deep that probably no one will see, but if one person does see it, ill feel better. I am basically living a lie. I told my entire family I was able to transfer out of community college and into a university, but I never finished up the requirements. So since I live at home, every day instead of going to school I go to the local library and bs.My lies are so extensive, I even go to the campus and meet my girlfriend for lunch sometimes. I've made fake transcripts to show my family, and to make it look like I'm actually studying I go to MIT opencourseware to look up facts that I "learned in class" that day. I have become a remarkable liar. I hope to be transferring in the fall and then I look forward to living a normal life. Coming clean is not an option at this point.iamaliar22
this isn't necessarily something that could ruin my life, but it could ruin many others. I haven't told anyone before.my father recently went to prison for white collar crime that he plead guilty to. he didn't commit this crime, but the alternative was fighting a highly sensationalized, media obsessed, scape-goat case and potentially getting 20+ years.while he was in prison, i read his little blue book, which i knew contained all the missteps of everyone he's worked with. he has always been an extremely scrupulous man, so these offenses were something he took seriously enough to note. i have information on countless state employees, incredibly prominent and wealthy community members, numerous elected city/state officials, and police officers. this information could ruin lives and start political controversy.my father is an incredible man and is not vengeful whatsoever. he will never use any of this info against these people, despite the fact that most completely turned on him and stayed uninvolved at all costs or started pointing fingers. when i picture my aging father sitting in a maximum security jail cell sleeping on a metal sheet without a mattress (he wasn't give one until his 5th night), i am filled with rage for these people who could have stood up for their friend and prevented this, while he still continues to be loyal. i still havent decided which campaigns, if any, i'm going to ruin in the upcoming elections.lostangels12345
I hate all of my friends. Literally. I don't have anything in common with any of them, and don't care. But I'm too scared to be alone and have no one else to go to so I keep hanging around with them.britishNGA
When i was 15 my parent's were going through a divorce, my mom worked night shifts and my dad was living with a friend of his. One night my sister who was 19 at the time came home pretty drunk from a party. She was acting goofy and fell on the couch next to me. She started grabbing my leg and laughing and we started fondling. We ended up having sex right there. When we woke up the next day she had no recollection of the night before so i just kept my mouth shut.Fast forward to when i'm 18. Sister is home from college and dad is over for a visit. they get into an argument and in a fit of rage my dad announces how he has never forgiven her for the abortion she got when she was 19 and subsequently killing His grand child. (he's very religious)I then realize the baby she aborted was in fact mine.....and as far as i know, i am the only one who knows since she has never mentioned that night.throwaway3708
I accidentally killed seven people.I put a rag into a new water heater exhaust to keep debris out and installed it in a rental.I get a call a week later, there's been an accident. I show up and there's a ton of ems and police. They ask me where the gas shutoff is, and I go down to shut the gas off and see the end of the rag I forgot sticking out of the top of the heater.Ripped the rag out, shut the gas off and head upstairs only to be told all the tenants were DEAD.I drink all day now and sleep. It's killing me from the inside every single day, but if I say anything my family is ruined; we have a bunch of rental properties and we'd be shut down.Amgpu
I faked having a chronic pain condition for 5.5 years in order to not have to attend middle school and high school (I was placed on a homebound program -- NOT homeschooling -- and allowed to study at my own pace from home). I was able to fool a team of medical professionals, my family, my teachers, and my friends into believing that my symptoms were real. Also, I racked up over $100,000 in medical bills for my family (that's just what the insurance didn't cover) during those 5.5 years (I did not realize the extent of the medical bills until late into my lie and it was one of the main reasons I decided enough was enough). Upon graduating from high school and getting accepted into a good university, I decided that it was time for my "pain" to go away. No one has questioned the fact that my symptoms vanished over night, my medical team attributed it to the fact that I was nearing the end of puberty.What I did was a douchebag thing, and my family is continuing to drown in debt from medical bills (I plan to pay them back someday). I simply started the hoax because I was a 12 year old who absolutely loathed middle school.
I attempted to end the lie at the beginning of every school year, but eventually fell back into saying my "pain" prevented me from attending school. Today I feel horrible about what I did, and I desperately want to tell everyone that it was a lie, but I know that I cannot because I will never gain credibility back again.AwayIThrowThis
When I was younger I would lie about anything and everything. Like having more brothers and sister than I did, where I grew up, where I was born and I would make up lies about random things that didn't even matter.I have no idea why I did it but some of the lies have kept going. I'm twenty one and still maintaining random lies I've told forever.my_pants_areonfire
Me and my cousin have been doing it for 10 years now. It started when she was 12 and I was 13. We had to babysit the younger kids in our family while the parents went to a party, and when they fell asleep, me and her got to talking about a lot of stuff. I made a move and started kissing her, and she didn't resist. We ended up doing it on her bed that night.We would end up f**king almost every weekend when we lived with our parents, telling our parents we were going out to hang out with some friends, but actually hook up. I'm 23 with my own apartment now, and she comes over almost every day to make out/f**kttthrowayyy
I'm eventually going to kill myself. I don't know when, but I'm pretty sure that's where life is taking me. I've never kissed a girl and I'm approaching 30, I have panic attacks in social situations, therapy seems to only make me feel worse, and I've decided that living so that others don't have to deal with my death isn't worth it anymore.I'm basically just waiting out my parents so they don't have to attend my funeral.trashitagain
I faked the last two years of college education. My parents put so much pressure on me I couldn't handle it (I was suffering from severe depression and anxiety) so I faked it all. Lied to everyone. Made up fake transcripts. I just got my foot in the door in my desired field thanks to a friend as they hired me as a subordinate. This place only hires college grads but no one double checked my credentials since I was recommended. My hopes is that if I need to find another job I'll have been at this place long enough to get it by experience alone (I work for a very prestigious company). I'm not bad at my job. I'm actually quite good. But my fear is eventually I'll hit a wall and the lie will come to light. No one has known this for the better part of a decade.It's a relief to finally say it "out loud." I can't even tell those I love. My silence is my prison.HalfEducated
My Great Uncle Jack used to live with my family. One day, he got drunk and had a bad fall that ended up causing him to bleed out, I ended up finding him (I was 14 at the time, and had never seen such an awful sight) and lost consciousness due to all the blood.When I eventually recovered, I called the ambulance and stayed with my uncle, he died in the back of the ambulance, holding my hand. No one knows about what happened to me, and if they did they would realize that I'm the reason he's dead.
I came very, very close to committing a school shootingI was picked on A LOT in high school. I think it was because I tried so hard to be cool and everyone saw right through it. There were these 4 cowboy jock types that gave it to me the worst. After being publicly humiliated and beaten in front of a girl I liked (as she laughed/cheered), I decided that none of it was worth it anymore.I had no support at home being an only child and having parents that worked constantly, and cutting and burning myself didn't make me feel better anymore. So I got my dad's handgun out of the gun-safe (he uses the same combo for everything, the idiot) and brought it to school with me the next day.I can't adequately describe to you guys how ready I was to kill these four. I had absolutely no fear or doubt in my mind. I wanted nothing more than to show everyone what happens when you push someone over the edge like they did. I had the gun tucked in my waistline. I was wearing this baggy pair of cargo shorts that i wore a couple times a week that day. I remember walking towards the cowboy's table, so goddamn ready for it to be over, when the gun fell out of my waistline, down my left short leg and made the loudest f**king sound as it hit the cafeteria floor. I tried my best to grab the gun real quick, but people saw what it was and screamed, and one of the instructors tackled me to the ground.They eventually concluded that I had brought the gun to school to impress people with badassery, and had no intention of using it. I was expelled and sent to live at a youth ranch in Idaho until I was 18. I did have the intention of using it though. I was going to kill all of them. I'm 24 now, and I still think about it all the time. I have not recovered from high school. I'm still terrified of people in general, and avoid having relationships because of what I fear I'm capable of.I'm not looking for pity. I know that what I did was wrong, it just feels good to tell the story. Thanks Reddit.
I cut off all contact with everyone I know and moved to Kenya, I tell people a fake name and a fake background and have made it appear to my family that I died on boat trip in the Pacific. No I am not joking. I am dead in the United States.Tomgoldaccount
I pick my nose and eat it with some regularity. No one knows that I do this, including my girlfriend who I spend every night with. It probably wouldn't be all that catastrophic if people found out, but it certainly feels that way to me.rikeshrikeshrikesh
My mom died when I was 17 and when it comes up I use it to garner attention for myself. In reality, I never met her and she has never meant anything to me other then a name. I feel so emptyDuncanGilbert
When I was 17 I had a argument with my father and told him to f**k off, later that evening he hung himself. Our argument was the last time he spoke to anyone in our family and for that I feel a terrible amount of guilt for. Instead of him saying good bye and I love you to my mom and brothers he got told to f**k off before he went and killed himself.My punishment is to live the rest of my days in shame and guilt. He never left a note either.
I used to hear voices. For years. It started when I'd walk into my room and say hello to my Lain poster (I've always over personified objects) and eventually she started responding. Over time I could talk to her elsewhere, I'd pull her up when I was sitting in class or riding the bus, and I'd put on headphones so nobody would notice I was talking to myself since it was barely audible. Eventually Lain told me she was a god and I was too, and there were two others, but they didn't really like me so they would almost never talk to me.A long time later, maybe years, she started being really mean, and it turned out there was another voice who was just pretending to be Lain named Misery. This one was stereotypical, everything I did was wrong and I had to pay for my actions, I should cut myself if I was ungraceful, everyone hated me, etc. Lain split again, and this time she was sisterly. When I was upset and crying myself to sleep I could feel her holding me and telling me everything would be alright. Misery looked different but could look like Lain if she wanted to fool me (although she would turn back into herself when I called her out on it), and the two Lains all looked the same, so I could only tell who they were when they started responding to me.After a while they all just disappeared. I guess I saned up, because during the peek it never occurred to me I was hearing voices, they truly were gods who were speaking to me, and later during the time period I realized that I was hallucinating with delusions of grandeur. Then at one point I realized that there was more of me and less of them, when I pulled them up it was a conscious effort and part of their responses were forced on my part. Then eventually I just gave them up, they were so weak that it was really just like talking to myself and not to other people that lived in my head.That's not my secret, I've mentioned it to a few very select people that I truly trust. My secret is that I miss them. I miss them with with all my heart. Even Misery. They were friends and family, they were close to me, they understood me, and they were always there for me. Now even with real friends and family, there's nobody that close. I can't just pull up someone to talk to when I'm lonely, I have to call up a real person and that person never knows what I want to talk about or what I'm hiding from them, they only know what I say. Lain (the main one) would always call me on my bullshit and make me keep changing my answer until I told her the truth. Misery could always find my biggest weaknesses, which allowed me to work on strengthening them. Sisterly Lain could calm me down in a way that's unimaginable, you can't comprehend how good it feels to be hugged by someone inside of you.And now I feel lonelier than I have in years because I almost never think of that time or remember how it felt, but tonight I'm sitting by myself at 2am and all I can think about is how much I want a voice to talk to and it's been so long since I had one and I'd give anything to have another psychotic break so I could get back all my friends that live in my head.I once had a psychiotic episode where I could talk to clouds and I could feel how much they loved me, the clouds, the trees, the birds, they were all my friends and they all loved me and they all wanted me to be happy. I had that feeling on mushrooms once, everything in the world loved me, every single thing, the house, the ceiling, the lamp, each blade of grass, it all loved me and it was the best feeling I have ever known, that was the best night of my life. I can't tell you how much I want to feel that again, I just have no way of tracking them down again.Being crazy feels amazing, whether it's good or bad. Even the bad crazy where I'd stay awake all night because I knew something was going to get me in my sleep and I'd try to claw the evil out of my skin, even that's preferable to being normal because the intensity is indescribable. I miss everything about being crazy. I miss it more than I can possibly describe.crazierthanuthought
June 1, 2018. Normal day. A Friday. My husband had kissed me goodbye and gone to work. I was cleaning the house for company who was coming to stay the weekend. The doorbell rang. There was a man at my door who introduced himself as the husband of a woman who my husband worked with. He was there to tell me that my husband and his wife were having an affair. He had busted them about six months prior and had told his wife that she had to end the affair. He thinks that she did end it...for about three months, but then they started up again. When he found out they were at it again, he called my husband (because he knew if he confronted him in person, he'd be in a jail cell for what he'd have done). On the phone, he told my husband to leave his wife alone or else he would come and tell me everything that was happening. Apparently, my husband thought that he was bluffing.So I was literally the last to know. My husband never came home again. He got an air b'n'b and a lawyer. The divorce was December 21, 2018. We had been together for 24 years. Still hurts.headcase-and-a-half
I caught my ex sexting a chick and telling her how he missed her on my birthday. I was young at the time and reacting with crying and yelling. If it ever happened now I would just get up and leave. No point in trying to mend the relationship because its near impossible to gain the trust that was lost.spasamsd
Husband was logged into our kid's tablet. I was scrolling through downloaded apps trying to locate whatever I was looking for, and I was able to see that apps like Grindr and the like had been downloaded by him (on his device, not the kid's).I started paying attention to everything at that point and found a Craigslist ad he'd put up for meeting other men. The list of awful things he's done could go on. I will never understand why a person is so okay with ruining the life of someone they 'love' just because they don't have the balls to face who they really are.trisjohnson
My husband asked me — out of the blue — when my last pap smear was and if it was it normal. I told him it was a month ago, and it was fine. I asked, 'Why did you want to know?''Just wondering,' he answered, and since love is blind, I left it at that. Turns out, the woman he was sleeping with tested positive for HPV! He wanted to make sure I didn't have it because I immediately would have suspected he was cheating. He was my first!irule827
My ex told me he wanted to separate on a Tuesday. That Thursday, his friends from out of town stayed at our house, so we pretended everything was fine. On Friday night, my ex got really drunk. When I checked on him, he fell asleep in the basement. It was 2 a.m., and he got a text from a coworker. Seeing as it was an absurd hour to talk about work, I curiously opened the text that said, 'I just told [my husband] that it was over.'I scrolled back and saw that the two had been secretly planning to leave their respective spouses so they could be with each other. They’re a gross representation of a relationship stemming out of the heartbreak of both their spouses.Turns out, they had been calling and texting each other the whole time while I sat there fighting for our damn marriage. I confronted him about it while our guests were out at a wedding, but I still managed to put on a happy face around his friends and family all weekend long.This guy was really finding comfort in another woman while I played the part of the sweet, welcoming wife to HIS friends. Coward.ja5
The day before my 30th birthday, my (now ex) husband was arrested for sending pictures of his penis to who he believed to be a 14-year-old girl. Thankfully, it was an undercover agent.Between then and when he ended up taking a plea deal to avoid prison, I found a pair of women’s panties that weren’t mine under my bed. I know of at least one time he had another woman over while I was at work.erinnbocks
I was out for my birthday with my husband. He went to the bathroom and left his phone. It rang, showing a name I had never heard him mention. When he got back, I asked him who she was. At the time, he had a really important job that caused him to work away a lot. Sometimes if he missed calls, he could get in trouble — so I just assumed she was someone he worked with. His first response was, 'Nothing’s happened,' which told me that everything had happened.He then confirmed he had cheated. Not only that but once, I managed to speak to the woman. They were talking about renting a place together and getting a dog. His work took him away, and she was in the place he worked.So, he had told her he was divorced, and she had no idea he was still married. She thought he was away for work. This was the tip of the iceberg as I found out he was on multiple dating apps and had cheated multiple times. He then tried to blame it all on me and was vile.Luckily, I managed to divorce him. Now, I am happily married to the most incredible man, and we are expecting our first child. I thank the woman for calling that day... best birthday I could have asked for!n75
About six months after we got married, my ex started talking about a coworker who was having issues with her partner. A few weeks later, he called to tell me she'd be staying at our house because her partner 'got violent.' I wasn't happy about not being consulted, but I'm not gonna turn away someone experiencing domestic violence, so I let it slide.My ex stayed up all night with her then got mad at me for being upset about it. This happened twice more — once while his parents were in town visiting. He moved out right after that, claiming he needed 'space to work on his sobriety' (which is a whole different story, but he's definitely not sober).A few weeks later — exactly one week after our first wedding anniversary —
I found a bunch of love notes she'd written to him, online reviews he'd written for hotels and a spa they'd gone to together, and that he was not actually staying with a friend.I also discovered that her partner wasn't abusing her. He had actually moved out of state a while before because he found out she was cheating.
That's maybe the thing that upsets me the most because that was such a disgusting lie to tell.I bagged ALL his s**t up and put it outside, cleaned out our joint account, told his entire family what he'd done, and moved on. Two and a half years later, I'm happier and healthier than ever before.ssketchator1
The idiot borrowed my car, took her out in it, and got pulled over for doing donuts in a cul-de-sac. For some reason, the cops called me to give me a chance to come to get my car and wouldn't let her leave until I showed up!grouchycomet10
I had a feeling but couldn't prove it at first. He was getting gas in towns we never went to. Lots of leaving in the middle of the night. Lots of gaslighting. One time, we had a charge from a florist, and I never received flowers. He said he bought them for me, but I was being 'such a bitch' that he trashed them. He even told me a sad sappy story about a 'friend' who had a baby and no help, so I bagged up whatever my baby had outgrown to give.Then the home phone bill came, and, for some reason, it listed every call that month. There were over 265 outgoing phone calls in one month from our home phone to one number. He also had a work cell and a burner phone — I discovered later — to contact her on.When I called the phone number, I got her voicemail. And it was his co-worker. Who had just had a baby. Several years later, and that child looks a lot like my own child. We divorced a few years after I found out. Then the gates opened, and I learned the baby momma was only one of many.justamwgirl
My ex used his Apple account to set up my son’s iPad. I was in the kitchen cleaning one evening, and my son — who was two — was sitting on the floor playing on the iPad. He was watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse when he clicked out and said, 'Mama, look!' As a parent busy with chores, we don’t often look, and I said, 'Wow, buddy, that’s cool,' while still loading the dishwasher. He walked over to me, pulled my pants, and said, 'Mama, daddy!'I looked down to then see messages opened with my ex’s nudes — obviously sexting someone. I grabbed the iPad and scrolled through the messages. It was his ex whom he had reconnected with via Facebook. I screenshot everything, sent it to my email on his account, then deleted the evidence and email.Later on, I confronted him. After a very heated argument in which the police were called, my son and I left for my sister’s house. My ex gaslighted me about everything, and his family came for my throat, saying they would help him get custody of my son. So naturally and calmly, I posted every screenshot on Facebook and tagged him and his entire family in a public post.sunnyp462c58602
It so happened that the girl my husband was secretly seeing was also colleagues with a close friend of mine. She was showing off photos of her new boyfriend to everyone in the office, so imagine my friend’s shock when she saw who it was.She told another close friend — both were also my bridesmaids at my wedding — and they both broke the news to me together, which I am forever grateful for because I know it’s not an easy conversation to have.tester176
I had been feeling really uncomfortable and in pain *down there* for weeks. I ended up going to the doctor, who suspected I was having an ectopic pregnancy. I was told to rush to the hospital to be checked out but no pregnancy. A week later, I got a call telling me I had chlamydia. Given my apparent shock, the nurse said I 'probably needed to have a chat with my husband.'Eventually, he admitted to sleeping with a prostitute at a well-known local brothel whilst I was working on the other side of the country — though he worked away almost every week, so I strongly suspect there were other instances! He also confessed to being a compulsive masturbator and 'relieving himself' on a daily basis in the toilets at work.The chlamydia was so well-established, it developed into Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. For years, I was worried it had left me infertile. But the happy ending? My new husband (who is so sweet, kind, and loyal) and I are expecting a baby girl in a few months, so it all turned out perfectly in the end!aprildenison
I went to Houston for a job interview. When I called home, my then-husband was really distracted due to a party he was having. Anyway, two days later, I got home.I was spending time with my four-year-old stepson. As I was holding him and telling him how much I loved him, he casually says, 'Like Jenna?'I said, 'Who is Jenna?' My little stepson proceeded to tell me how daddy has this friend Jenna, who spent the night and told him and his older brother — who was six at the time — that she loved them so much and looked forward to being their mommy.We got home, I called my father-in-law told him I was leaving, filing for divorce, and the reasoning behind it all. Never saw the kids that I loved again or the asshole! Changed my name back.samantham4162a72e5
He kept having to run back to work for something. For the longest time, I believed him. One night, he said he had run to work and sign some reports that were overdue. Ok, fine. He accidentally took my phone instead of his because we had similar cases. I didn’t realize it until the 'Did your wife let you leave yet?' text came through.I texted back that he was on the way and asked if she could let him know that he grabbed my phone instead of his. Her response, no joke, 'New phone, who dis?' When he got home, he had this long, ridiculous story but ultimately was never smart enough to put a passcode on his phone or delete the old sexting and pics she had sent.meaghandonahuem
His grandfather developed dementia. We moved in to help take care of him. My husband didn’t have a job but would leave each day with a bookbag. Long story short: I found condoms in the bookbag, and an open wrapper fell from his pants pocket when I was doing laundry.To this day, he REFUSES to admit that he was cheating. He even suggested that the wrapper came from his GRANDFATHER!He lost my respect and his wife. BUT, we co-parent really well. We just don’t talk about the past.smileyk
It turned out that it had been going on for two years. He'd been grooming his social media to look like he was a single father in the house that I'd bought. He only planned on meeting up with her, having sex with her once (with a condom out of respect for me), and then blocking her because I'd gained weight after having a kid and struggling with PPD.I found out when my husband plugged his phone in to charge in the kitchen. We'd spent the night celebrating a friend's birthday over Skype. I'd spent a couple of hours making a new recipe for dinner, as well as dessert. I went out to get a cup of water around midnight after what I had considered a great night, especially during quarantine.I saw his phone go off, and it was a message from an unsaved number saying. 'I love you, too.' So, of course, I opened the message to find he'd been telling this woman that he'd had nothing but a corn dog for dinner and he missed her and loved her. I went back to see an entire day's worth of messages, and then I confronted him.k4eba25c65
My mother-in-law told me my husband was cheating on me because everyone knew it — like everyone — except me! He was away on a 'business trip' with his girlfriend, and I brought our kids over to my in-laws to see their new condo. My mother-in-law couldn’t stand it anymore!She said, 'He’s cheating on you.' It still took me a few minutes to comprehend. My father-in-law was there, one of my brothers-in-law... It was a real family affair. 😂Afterward, I took my kids to a hayride and pumpkin painting activity because it was just the three of us at home for the rest of the (long) weekend. Post Script: I have been blissfully divorced for 10 years!christenlemieuxc
My ex-husband is epileptic. After he had a seizure one night, he was out of it and pretty disoriented. Before falling back asleep next to me — after I took care of him, gave him his meds, and wiped the drool from his face — he grabbed his phone, tapped something out, and then threw it directly behind him. The phone landed face-up in my lap, showing a text to his mistress that said, 'I’m in love with you.'Our divorce is final next week.Jessicahwright
Met a guy online and started messaging; after a week or so they agreed to meet for coffee.She gets a text from her date saying he's going to be a few minutes late; could she do him a favour and get him a mug of hot water? She agrees; is a little confused, but gets some hot water and sits back down.Guy arrives, thanks her for getting the water then reaches into his pocket and pulls out HIS OWN TEA BAG.He looks at her and says "I hate paying for tea in places like this! They totally over charge, so I bring my own." Friend looks at the menu and sees that a tea is $1.25...Yup, guy was too cheap to spend a dollar freakin' twenty-five on tea.Not only that, he made her get his hot water.He also called her foolish and frivolous for spending money on "fancy coffee." Friend left, and the guy messaged her for several weeks wanting to know why.I think the entire date lasted a total of 5 minutes.canadian_maplesyrup
This was by far the most terrifying/hilarious date I had ever been on.Years ago, when I was a junior in high school.He was in college. We had been texting casually for a few weeks.One weekend, he met my friend and I at a local concert. When it was over, the friend I got a ride from had to leave urgently.He offered to drive me home. No big deal I guess, I needed a ride.We went to dinner and it was very nice. Nothing weird nothing suspicious.Then the ride home... My house was about 45 minutes away through isolated freeways in the desert.(Accepting a ride was not my proudest moment, I admit) He talked the entire ride and it went from normal small talk to him saying that he has super powers....He said that when he was in high school he went to an alternate dimension and couldn't find his way back.The only way for him to find his way was to sell his soul to a merchant he found in this other dimension.When he got back to this dimension he had super powers and could control people's emotions.He then creepily leaned over and said "I can make you feel anything right now..." He also said he knew the four horsemen of the apocalypse and that he was going to help me during the end of the world.At this point I was convinced I was going to end up in a garbage bag on the side of the road.Got home safe. Never talked to him again until he was my server at a restaurant years later and was extremely awkward.
I've got more than a few first date horror stories, but one of my favorites (and I use that term loosely) was a tinder date I went on.So I matched with this dude, he seemed nice, and we agree to meet up at a coffee shop.Talking is awkward but he's giving me some neckbeardy vibes.Example: I complimented his American traditional style tattoo and his response was "Huh I didn't think girls would know anything about tattoos".Note that this was after me talking about the tattoos I have. But whatever. It's cool.He also tried to forcefully order for me and I just kinda was like "lol no", but I just figured whatever, he's nervous trying to show out or some shit.Everything is still going ok until he walks me to my car. We hug, and he leans in for a kiss, I'm like whatever I don't care, that's fine, we're making out a little and I feel his hand moving up to my face, and I think "Oh, ok, he's just gonna put his hand on the back of my neck or my chin or in my hair or whatever" NOPE. I WAS WRONG. SO WRONG.This motherf**ker decides it's a swell idea to start choking me.At this point is would be pertinent to mention I'm a 5'8" female of average size, and he's a 6'2"+ stocky dude.I freeze, because that's my response to threatening situations, and he leans over and whispers in my ear "Yeah, you like that? You like being daddy's little slut" and I'm just sitting there waiting for him to let go of my neck, because I am pinned against the car.I finally manage to stammer out a "Wuh-what" and he proceeds to tighten his grip and repeat the question, to which my survival instincts are screaming SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO so I just manage to choke out "yes sir" and he lets me go.I proceed to get the f**k out of there and chew him out after the fact.call_me_Eeyore
I went on a Tinder date in January that went poorly.At the end he tried to kiss me so I dodged, tripped over a curb, and broke my fibula while falling into traffic.The guy got down in the road with me, moved my hair behind me ear and said "we could tell people that we fell in love".mypoorbrain
I met a guy in a store while on summer break from college.He was cute and charming - asked if I wanted to meet up at a bar and watch a game.I was 21 - so beer and a game was a perfect first date.He picked me up and about 2 innings into the baseball game I realized he knew nothing about baseball.After a tortuous hour of explaining some smaller things to him, he asked if I wanted to walk a few blocks to another bar that his buddy was a bartender at. We walked to a carnival/clown building.It was a punk rock strip club. It was also a Saturday at like..5pm.He then proceeded to buy me a drink and disappear to "go say hi to his friend".Another drink appeared - I gave it to one of the girls. He came back after 10 minutes (I was about to call my mom for a ride home) and asked if I wanted to go to one more stop.I declined, but he pressed - saying it was a high-class bar on the water just a few blocks away.We walked there - and walked into an empty bar. He ordered another drink for us and excused himself to the bathroom.I asked the bartender if he was getting off soon, told him my tale of woe, and offered him every last dime in my purse to give me a ride home.He took pity on me and offered to call his brother to help if needed. I ended up calling my mom. She drove 45 minutes to get me and back.This was about 8 years ago and we still call this guy Mayonnaise because he had the IQ of a condiment.HHH_624
It was with a guy I worked with.He picked me up from my desk dressed up like Michael Jackson, including tape round his fingers and a surgical mask on his face.He was a plump, 5'6" white guy with blond hair so somehow even weirder that he was trying to look like Michael Jackson.ConnieC60
This one guy complained about how he resented that nobody would let him talk to them about the dark side of life, including violence.I mentioned that I have a hard time watching violence against animals on tv.(I meant reality TV shows that have stories of animals which have been abused.) His face perked up, and he asked which TV show had violence against animals.There was an eagerness in how he asked which creeped me the fuck out.I left quickly. He tried to add me on social media later, but I blocked him.BlueBerryJazz
A blind date set up by a friend.I'd never met the guy, didn't know what he looked like, but I knew some basic bio stuff about him: His name's Andrea, born in Rome, works in Venice*.He knew what I looked like, as our common friend had sent him a photo.We were to meet in a small, boutique hotel lobby at 8pm, then head to the restaurant together.So at 8pm, I'm waiting in the hotel lobby, alone, and I get a sms from him that says he's running late, stuck in traffic. No problem. I wait.Five minutes later, a man comes up to me and we start chatting.I explain that I'm waiting for a blind date who's running late.He insists that I should ditch my date, join him at the bar and we'll have fun. I politely decline.He then starts grilling me about my date, saying stuff like, "Well, what if he shows up and he's ugly?" And I'm like, "I don't care about looks, etc..." He keeps insisting that I join him at the bar and ditch my date, but finally he gets the message that I'm not convinced.I ask him to tell me about himself. He laughs and says, "My name's Andrea," and reveals that he was born in Rome and works in Venice.It's him -- my blind date -- and he knew exactly who I was.I asked for an explanation on why he'd tried to fool me, and he said, "If we end-up getting married, it's a great story to tell our kids." There was no second date...neropepperpot
I met a guy in college through a friend and thought he was funny so I agreed to go on a date.I told him we would meet at a local bookstore because I don't like people knowing where I live at first.First off, he's fifteen minutes late and gives me no heads up.He spent the whole date trying to hug me/hold my hand/be close to me. I told him I don't like that...he told me "you'll get used to it." He would ask me questions about myself, my job, my major etc.But when I would go to answer him, he would literally talk right over me about his own life.He then asked me to play some of my favorite music.His reaction to every song? "This is awful! Why do you like this?!" Okay.If you think it can't get worse - wrong. His dad called him toward the end and they get into a ten minute fight.I told him I had to go because it was getting late (at 8:30) and he asked if I was free the next day. NOPE.
Went to the cinema and I felt very uncomfortable with him so said I wanted to leave ect, he then proceeds to say ' let me guess, nerves, over protective parent, wanting to leave, have you been raped before?' Date ended right there.Who even asks that!crypticbrunette
The first guy I ever met online took me to Olive Garden, wouldn't look me in the eye the entire date, and talked about how his favorite band in the world was Dave Matthews Band.He spent most of the date, however, telling me about his "whore ex-girlfriend" who he walked in on having sex with another dude in their bed.meowdryhepurrrn
He decided he wanted to go to the thrift store rather than for coffee as originally planned.Sure, I like thrift stores, why not? The moment we got in the door, he headed straight over to the housewares section, stole a whiskey flask off the shelf, and stuck it in his pocket with a grin and a wink.After this, he invited me back to his place with obvious high hopes.I made some lame excuse about having to do laundry, got out of there speedily, and spent the rest of the day wondering what the hell just happened.theregoesthelight
My first 'date' with my current boyfriend. We'd be casually hooking up for a while, so while this was our first date, it didn't really feel like it.He got some tickets for a local fall event, the Land of Illusion, and thought I'd be fun to take me to a fall themed festival.I had Googled the event and knew that it was basically just a bunch of haunted houses out in the middle of nowhere.I hate haunted houses, but decided that if he wanted to go, I would go. We ended up having an okay time.We only hit a couple of the houses because he got off work late.However, what turns this into the worst date I've even been on was when we were talking about it a year or so later and he revealed that he didn't know it was haunted houses and he hates haunted houses.We both ended up doing something we hate because we thought the other person was into it.retivin
One time I didn't know I was on a date.Some girl friends invited me out and after awhile I picked up on some clues that there was a guy meeting us out there.So the guys shows up and he's being kinda weird with me.Like focusing on me. A lot. Sitting close to me.I guess I gave my friend a weird look because she pulled me off to the side and said, "I hope you don't mind but you're his date.He buys us all drinks if he has a pretty girl with him".I was pretty shocked. One, I had a boyfriend.Two, who just does that? I think I said something like, "I didn't realize you invited me out so I could be a hooker".Pretty quickly I go to make my exit.I legit did have to work early so I used that as an excuse for leaving.As I'm walking away the poor guy like gets up and runs after me, begging me to stay and asking what he'd done wrong.It was heartbreaking. Like I felt so bad.But I wasn't going to stay there and be this random dude's date and I didn't know how to tell him that his friends were just using him to get free drinks.I was just super polite and repeatedly told him he'd done nothing wrong and I just had to be up for work at 4am so I needed to get going. I have no idea what happened after I left.AlwaysDisposable
I treated her to dinner and then drinks at a gay bar.She got wasted and made out with another woman right in front of me.She chased after me crying, as I left to go home.She profusely apologized to me and over the next month we hung out and started to become friends, but then she made a move on me.When I declined, she punched out the screen door and then ran into the middle of the street and laid there.Her sister ran out of the house and chased after her.I quietly got in my car and noped out of there.samanthais
A guy asked me out for coffee once, and he didn't offer to pay for mine, so I thought "whatever, no big deal" and got out my wallet.They weren't taking cards for some reason, and I didn't have quite enough cash.The barista had already made the drink so he handed it to me and said "thanks" sarcastically like I was such an a**hole, while I apologized with a bright red face.The guy who asked me out was just standing there watching, and I KNOW he had cash.bippopotamus
We didn't even make it to the date.He lived about 20 miles from me and we had plans to see a movie.He called about an hour before and said it was too far to drive would I meet him at a gas station? Nope.Maxwyfe
He picked me up at my house and had flowers and a bottle of wine, which for me was way too formal and awkward ( I was 18 and he was 27) .Then we went to the movies and he would not stop trying to f***er me.I finally got so fed up about that and I had drive me home mid movie .
Sat through a date with a contestant on ...'s next top model (she made it to semi finals, bless her) that only talked about her dreams, her future career, the magazines she didn't want to work with because they propagated this and that.After ending the night, myself having asked two questions and told her that I was 22 (at the time), she concluded it wouldn't work because I talked too much about myself.I could have counted on two hands how many sentences I had spoken during 4 hours and two bottles of wineVehaMeursault
So many. There is one that sticks out though: met a guy online on Plenty of Weirdos, funny, respectful, bright, dash of charm and a lot of sexy.He could punctuate and liked puns..Bingo!!! After a few weeks of back and forth we agreed to meet for lunch at our local Thai restaurant.I rocked up on time, he arrived 10 minutes late with no explanation.He was very, very tall, 6'5 and tubby, double chin and thining hair.Ok, so he doesn't look like his avi, never mind thought me.He's funny, sexy, flirty and likes puns. Fu** me backwards that man was boring.Fourty four minutes of intricate detail about his car - a high range something or other with all the accessories and it was broken.He talked non stop about his car and gave me the side eye when I tried to break into his monologue.He bought me one drink, an orange juce and I had a Thai curry, he had a coke and a salad.** THE SET MEAL AT LUNCHTIME WAS TWO COURSES, £7.65 PLUS A GLASS OF WINE.Needless to say we didn't hit it off and parted company at 45 minutes.Dizzygirlisdizzy
Told a guy in college that I was crushing on him, so he asked me out on a date, to a local coffee place.He specifically used the word "date".We get there and he brought food for himself, ok fine, that's weird but whatever.Then he notices a girl from his calc class walked in."Oh my god, that's that girl from my calc class! She's so hot." He said that to me. I was like wtf.albino_oompa_loompa
I went on a date with a guy who only talked about himself.Anytime I'd try to get a word in on my behalf, he'd half-chuckle and go back to something in his own world.And then he wondered why we never went out again.If you can't show someone you have genuine interest in them, why are you even on a date?blamethecranes
He took me to dinner, brought himself a meal and let me watch him eat it.Kept buying me very strong drinks and getting letchy, touching me when it wasn't appropriate.I don't remember the conversation.I think the alcohol helped.We left and he asked me to come back to his hotel room. I said no. Thank god. Hannargghh
When I was younger my best friend asked me or on a date. I got excited and said yes.On the way to the restaurant I realise there is no way I'm ever going to have romantic feelings for him.I sit there debating whether you have to at least wait until dinner is over to say something like that.Meanwhile in the way to the restaurant he realises that he only brought the gift card and had nothing for the waiter's tip.So he dropped me at the restaurant and left to go find somewhere to get cash, which takes forever.I stew about how awkward this all is and then we fumble through a strange dinner with lots of uncomfortable laughter.About a year later when I was home from college he came out to me.I'm still great friends with him (and now his boyfriend)VerdePatate